The Boys Of “South Park” Try Ziplining

On this week’s episode of “South Park” the boys are on a TV show entitled:  I Should Have Never Gone Ziplining, which is a spoof of I Shouldn’t Be Alive.

It was the last day of spring break.  Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Stan decide that they want to do something exciting with their time.  They somehow come up with the idea of ziplining, they think that it will be exciting and “totally badass”, what they don’t know is that it is about to turn into disaster.

After being arriving at the zipline location and getting strapped in and ready to go they realize that they are not simply ziplining by themselves but that they actually have to go with a tour group.  The children struggle to force smiles at stories they don’t want to listen to, it is horrible.  They have to watch safety videos and deal with tourists.  Finally they think that the horrors are over when they realize that they have to take a 45 minute shuttle up to the zipline zone.  The shuttle ends up actually take about an hour longer than anticipated and the whole time the boys are forced to listen to elongated stories that include the term “to make a long story short” every five words.  

To make matters worse Eric continues to drink Diet Double Mountain Dew which makes him pass gas that lodges fecal matter up Kyle’s nose.  They finally make it to the zipline and go across only to find that it is totally lame, but they have 16 more ziplines to go.

By lunchtime the boys can’t take the boredom anymore and Cartman needs to use the bathroom so they think they find refuge at a ranch where they can ride horses down to civilization.  However, the ranch turns out to be just as bad as ziplining.  Cartman and Kyle then resort to blaming each other for coming up to the idea of ziplining when Stan knows that it was really his idea.  Yet, instead of him telling all the others he thinks he finds a way out via a boat in a lake.

Instead, they become stranded on a lake and endangered by boredom.  The cartoon becomes real people as they reenact the events that occurred on the boat.  They each have to drink the Mountain Dew in order to stay awake and not die of boredom resulting in each getting herpes from Kenny.  Kenny then dies of boredom and Kyle and Cartman are blaming one another.  It’s then that Stan admits that he brought them all in order to get a free I-pod nano and everyone is at their bottom.  It is then that Mr. Hanky shows up out of the blue and saves the boys in his helicopter, airplane and train made of poop.

Kyle must endure 27 days in the hospital dislodging Carman’s feces from his nose, Stan warns against the dangers of ziplining, Kenny’s remains are sent to his parents and Cartman continues to drink Diet Double Mountain Dew.

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